Adam Baird, pictured below right, is perhaps better known for his ability to squirt opposition players in the face with his water bottle rather than coming out with pearls of wisdom.

Yesterday was no exception when this man from the north in Hanoi contacted the Blog to give a spray to the southerners in Saigon.

Adam was referring to the upcoming photo shoot with Miss Australia, Miss Universe and the Vietnam Swans: 

I just want a photo of both these stunners… No footy boof heads in the pic… Out of love for your footy brothers up north in Hanoi, I will expect some pics! Don’t let me down!

Adam, there’s a fair chance that your photos of the Swans will have the two stunners air-brushed out.

Unprecedented rumours are circulating Vietnam like a firestorm at the moment. The rumour mill is rife that former Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins (pictured far left) and the current Miss Australia, Ms Laura Dundovic (pictured near left), who will come to Vietnam as part of the Miss Universe contest to be held in Nha Trang will meet with the Vietnam Swans.

When is this likely to happen? Next week.

Again, it seems that glamour stalks, arguably, Asian Football’s best dressed Aussie Rules Football Club, the Vietnam Swans!

Unheard of.

Last weekend, the Swans lost more than the Singapore match. We lost 6 handphones which reads like a list of goal kickers: Prez Phil Johns (2), BOG Matty Stewart (1), Charlie Williams (1), Trav Fennell (1) and Grotty Garnham (1).

Swans superstar Mark “Willy” Williams, as always, is hard and focussed (he’s pictured to the side behind Captain Gus who was posing for a photo at the time).

While the rest of us are sleeping, Willy focuses on thinking. The other morning he wrote to the Swans blog with his latest idea:

“Mate, we should start a tally board for lost phones within the Club and then have an end-of-season phone award. Put me down for one in the last two months.

“You hearin’ me? Ahhh!! Guess not if you don’t have a phone.”

Don’t worry, Willy. The Blog hears all and tonight the Blog is hearin’ you!

Before the Swans new jumpers came to Vietnam, courtesy of Big Rooster Footy and the Rooster, they had a brief stop over in Singapore.

The jumpers weren’t there for long but they were there for long enough for local Swans Dave “Flyer” Kainey and Andy “Mr Jim Beam” Wall to grab one each in the Beam Bar.

The crowd was thinking they were looking pretty good in the new jumpers. And they did - until a princess appeared and stole the show. 

Last Saturday, the Vietnam Swans unveiled their new club jumpers which are sponsored by Linfox and Loscam. Coincidentally, the same day a photographer back in Australia spotted the above Swans hat parked on a post at Lindsay’s beach house on the Mornington Peninsula.

With none of the new jumpers in Australia, a few of us wondered whether an excited Lindsay could be about to don his cap, hop into his copter and make a surprise visit to Hanoi.

Anyway, as of 7.53am on the Tuesday after, there are still a few of us camped out at Hanoi International Airport. Alas, we we can report no such sighting of the flying truckie.

Unheard of.

You know how some of the best sportsmen in the world like Ricky Ponting really enjoy their golf?

Well, the Swans are no exception.

Last week 4 of the biggest Swans names took their sticks to the greens: Former President Kainey; Super Savvy Stacey the Coach, Current Swans President Phil Johns and the biggest of them all, occasional Ruckman Drew Franklin.

At the Song Be golf course on the 12th tee (truth be known, it could have been the 15th tee), there’s a ”hole in the wall”. Rather than having an ATM, they have hawkers on the other side selling golf balls. We chose to shop at Tina Gold’s Thien Thanh Shop. She even has business cards. Her card reads:

Vocational:

• in every way golf Ball
• special free on Board
• good Ball

You see, at the beginning middle and end of the free on board golf ball, it’s all good.

The Swans’ Blog recently received this photograph.

Motorbikes in Vietnam often have too much to carry. In this situation, the pillion passenger must sit on the floor of the motorbike because of the load on the back.

A Vietnamese colleague explained that It’s new style. Given they’re chickens in the basket rather than dogs, we guess it’s “Chicken style”.

That would go some way to explain the head moving back and forth.

Hearin’ me?

Last week, the Swans Blog had its 30,000th hit (today it’s rocketing along on 31,604).  This is an unprecedented number for the Swans Blog.

Taking advantage of the bragging rights associated with such lofty heights, the Swans Blog was talking to a friend who works for Triumph (her place of employment is of relevance to this story as we share the same club/corporate colours of red and white).

Ms Triumph started her personal blog 5 months prior to the Swans’ – and has had 110,000 more hits than us! Further, the only people who can see her blog must have an exclusive invitation! The Swans Blog by contrast will let anyone, anywhere. any time log on to our site. Sadly, we have just 20 per cent of her number of hits.

Speaking of hits, while researching this story, the Swans Blog discovered Triumph’s “My Chopsticks Bra” (see side photo). The My Chopsticks Bra was unveiled in Japan on 7 November. It features a pair of (nice) cups that resemble bowls of rice and miso soup and a pair of collapsible chop sticks that tuck into either side.

As you may be aware, Japanese consumers are becoming more aware of the negative impact that disposable chopsticks have on the environment. While it is becoming increasingly trendy for people to reduce waste by carrying around their own reusable chopsticks, Japanese consumers still go through an estimated 25 billion pairs (90,000 tons) of disposable chopsticks each year. This amounts to 200 pairs per person and is an unheard of statistic.

According to the highly respected Pink Tentacle website, Triumph lingerie model, Yuko Ishida, who ordinarily carries around a pair of her own chopsticks, says she hopes people will think of the environment when they see this bra, adding that “the chopsticks on the sides help add a little extra volume to your bust.”

The My Chpsticks Bra sounds like a beauty.