Vietnam Swans

Australian Rules Football In Vietnam!

  • Grand Final Parties – 27th September

    Saigon, Hanoi, Hoi AnSeptember 27th, 2014
    Biggest and best Grand Final Parties across Vietnam
  • Asian Champs – 10th October – Clark, Philippines

    The Swans take on Asia's best. Season's key event where the Swans will take on the strongest teams in Asia including the Hong Kong Dragons, the Singapore Wombats, the Jakarta Bintangs, the China Reds, the Bali Geckos, The Cambodian Eagles, the Thai Thaigers, the Malaysian Warriors and the hosts, the Philippine Eagles.

Archive for the ‘Unheard of’ Category

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 10, 2007

With only 50 days to go before the Grand Final, the Club believes we should treat like any other block of 50 days. So we’ve managed to find a website that deals with beer – cheap beer.

Chris Canty (former Swans player and journalist) and his friend, Sten one of the men), have put together a website called - a website dedicated to finding cheap beer.

According to the “About us” section of the happiesthour:

Chris Canty has been a journalist for the last ten years.  While completing his first novel “single, ready to mingle, give me a jingle”, he decided to create an icy pole out of frozen beer for unemployed Arts students called “writers block”. While trying to find cheap beer for his icy pole business, he thought of this site instead. Those that know him best don’t want to. He is a tight arse.

Sten Gavronski is a 6′4 Estonian guy that has made Australia his home and beer his blanket. Those that know him best are out of pocket.

It’s a sophisticated website that also tackles a range of social issues. For example there was a story on choosing the best uni: 

Those that choose to go to uni, decide on which one to go to for a variety of reasons. Prestige, close to home, they got crap marks, etc.

But when it comes down to it, the most important part to play in deciding on where to go is their location to pubs.

How about hangovers? “Hangovers are natures way of keeping most of us in 9-5 jobs. If there weren’t repercussions from big nights out then every night would be one.”

Canty’s Booney Doll cracked it and walked out of his loungeHe also has some hard hitting observations that express some social outrage – such as the infamous “VB Uproar” when VB announced they were simultaneously lifting prices while reducing alcohol content. “My Talking Booney doll just said ‘F*ck this’ and walked out of my lounge.”

Unheard of.

Check out

Posted in Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Asia’s Best Bars

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 10, 2007

Peter “Harbs” Habel from the Malaysian Warriros did some good, solid research prior to the Asian Champs.

He produced a White Paper on .

So whether you’re living in or going to Vietnam, Malaysia, China, Hong Kong etc, you really need to read the attached bible.

Do you agree or disagree with those that have appeared on the list? Post a comment.

Posted in Asian Champs, Unheard of | 2 Comments »

The Rooster crows again

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 6, 2007

What is the definition of an international footy sl*t?

The answer is the Rooster.

Rooster, pictured with Will Martin to the left, has recently written to the Swans asking for contact details of the Brunei Sharks and Laos Elephants. The reason? He wants to play with both those teams against us (Rooster, pet, would you just like to go and play out on the road for a little while?).

The Swans obviously were very happy to forward on the relevant contact details because we don’t care who we play against. But in passing, we did ask what he had against Vietnam.

The Rooster replied that:

“I have nothing against the Swans… but I have already played for Vietnam (the Saints that time… in Bangkok against Thailand in 98/99 – mostly Saigon but 2 or 3 from Hanoi and me from China. Actually, (I) kicked the first ever communist goal on democratic soil that day).

“…and Brunei and Laos would make my 18th and 19th countries to earn a test cap for (will have a run for VN if you need the numbers against someone else, but guess you don’t need the numbers at home).”

Rooster is an international footy sl*t. 

By the way, Will currently plays for the University BATS. So did the Rooster.

Rooster is an international footy sl*t. 

Posted in Asian Champs, Aussie Rules, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Two old men

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 3, 2007

Mike and Joe, both 90, have been friends all their lives. When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

Mike: Joe, we both loved playing footy all our lives. Can you do me a favour? When you get to heaven, can you somehow let me know whether they play footy up there?

Joe agrees.

Soon after Joe dies, Mike is awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice. It’s not anyone’s voice. It’s Joe’s voice.

Joe: Mike, I’ve got some bad news and some awwwwwwesome news. It’s footy heaven up here! All our old friends who carcked it before us are here – and we’re all young again! Better still, it’s always spring time and it never rains or snows. But you know what’s best of all? We can play footy whenever we want and we never get tired.

Mike: That’s fantastic, Joe. Sensational. It is so all good.

Joe: Not really.

Mike: How come?

Joe: You’ve been selected to play on Tuesday.

Posted in Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Swans Blog spooks market

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 1, 2007

It would appear that since the heady days of Asian Championships Eve, the Swans Blog has been in a state of decline. Since that awesome day of 234 hits, the peaks have got lower – but not yet the troughs.

Nevertheless, it seems that the world’s financial markets have noticed, have been spooked and have plunged accordingly – as clearly shown in the attached graphs. George W. is taking no chances and has already directed former Fed Chairman, Alan Greenspan, to visit the Swans hierarchy. Apparently, Alan believes there has been some “irrational exuberance” surrounding the Swans of late.

“And why wouldn’t you be irrational?” adds Bill Lawry. “A great club, great record, great people. Perfect day for football today, here at Dead Cat Stadium in Hanoi…”. 

Bill might just be on to something. The Hong Kong Dragons, winners of the 2007 Asian Championships are confirmed to tour Vietnam (HCMC) on 1 September – as are the Brunei Sharks on 13 October and Thailand Tigers on 17 November.

Additionally, today word was received from the Malaysian Warriors that they would welcome a tour by the Swans in Feb/March and they want to play in Vietnam again next year. Meanwhile, our Elephant friends over in Laos have floated the idea of touring to Vietnam before the end of the year (more on this mega story later).

We also have two mega Grand Final events in Vietnam on 29 September. In Hanoi, the Official Vietnam Swans 2007 AFL Grand Final Party will be held at Jaspas. In Saigon, continuing a very fine tradition,  the Saigon Saints Grand Final Brunch will be held at the Legend Hotel.

Irrational or not, there are serious quantities of exuberance in Vietnam when it comes to footy. And that’s why everyone keeps honking their horns.

Irrespective of world financial markets, Alan will be doing well to stop the flow of exuberance over here.

Posted in sport, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

In the spirit – Mark struggles again…

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 1, 2007

Mark Waugh was standing at second slip when New Zealand’s Adam Parore came to the crease. Parore played and missed the first ball.

Mark Waugh: Oh, I remember you from a couple of years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then and you’re fu*king useless now!

Adam Parore (turning around): Yeah, that’s me. And when I was there, you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you’ve married her. You dumb c*nt. 

Posted in sport, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

In the spirit – Merv n Viv

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 30, 2007

During a test match in the West Indies, Merv Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv Richards, but continued to stare at him after deliveries.

Viv: This is my island; my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture, we just bowl.

Merv still didn’t reply.

But after he took Viv’s wicket, Big Merv glared at him and said: In my culture, we just say f*ck off.

Posted in sport, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

“Priceless!”, Paul Hasleby

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 25, 2007

A “Priceless!” clipping from the West Australian on Saturday 21 July, 2007:

  • Cost of the West Australian newspaper – $1.90
  • Price of a footy – $110
  • The annual salary of the Dockers’ Paul Hasleby – $230,000
  • Realising the West Australian has published over a million copies of the paper with your little weener dick hangin’ out the side of your daks- Priceless!

Posted in AFL, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Breaking News: Sheedy Sacked. Stacey Safe

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 25, 2007

Wednesday, 8.32am, Vietnam Standard Time – In breaking news, it has just been announced that Essendon’s Coach of 27 years has been sacked.

The Vietnam Swans hierarchy has held an emergency meeting to discuss the coaching position and the future of Scotty Stacey, sometimes referred to as the Little Guy.

In a prepared statement, the Swans board said that having taken the Swans to their first ever appearance at the Asian Champs, Scotty could decide his own future.

It seems like there’s nothing but harmony down there at Dead Cat (Hanoi) and RMIT (Saigon).

Posted in AFL, Aussie Rules, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

The Swans Blog is now tracking at 5,000 hits

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 24, 2007

On 13 July, the Swans blog was in orbit having passed through 3,000 hits.

16 days later (yesterday), the Swans have passed through 5,000 hits and might be in space for the long term! Our biggest single day came the day before the Asian Champs when we had 234 hits.

The number of countries that have logged on has increased from 36 countries to 48 countries. Vietnam’s share of the total traffic has dropped from 52.4 per cent to 46.5 per cent. The level of interest in Australia has increased from 25.6 per cent to 30.2 per cent. The US has dropped from 7.7 to 6.5 per cent. For all the details regarding the countries and percentage share of the hits, click on the attached (right).

To see a graph of the daily number of hits in the past 30 days, click on the attached graph to the left.

Posted in Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Another night of entertainment for the Swans

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 22, 2007

Last night a number of Swans in Hanoi went out to My Dinh National Stadium to see the Soceroos face off against Japan in the quarter final of the Asian Cup. 

The boys witnessed a scoreline of 1-1 after 90 minutes plus 30 minutes of extra goals. Gus McEwin is rumoured to have commented that the Bali Vs Hong Kong AFL Grand Final at the Champs last week was slightly more exciting.

Then came the mandatory “heartbreak penalty shootout” where both teams take it in turns to try and shoot fish in a barrel. Japan shot more fish and won.

Meanwhile, all this was being watched on the big screen at the Green Mango Restaurant which was celebrating its 3rd birthday on Cat Ba Island. Mr Hai the owner was doing a superb job. 

Mr Ashley Brooks, long time supporter of the Green Mango and the Swans was there in fine form. In the side photo, he’s seen being carried off the ground. The smart money says that with the way he was woofing down the drinks last night and the bevy of beauties circling, he may have been carried off again!

Posted in Swans in the Community, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »

Ticker Tape Parade in Hanoi

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 20, 2007

Today in Hanoi, the City turned on a magnificent show of support for the Hanoi-based Swans with a ticker tape parade.

It seemed more like a Grand Final Parade in Melbourne with the crowd up to 6 deep in places. Police estimate the crowd to have been “at least 100,000″.

Mr Nguyen, Chairman of the Hanoi People’s Committee, addressed the Swans in front of an adoring crowd. Mr Nguyen said that the Swans had captured the hearts of the nation with the mega merger of North and South to form a combined Vietnam Aussie Rules Team.

Mr Nguyen added that until the arrival of the Vietnam Swans he had only ever wanted to watch “the beautiful game”. But now, “I think I prefer your game because it is very awesome”.

The Vice Chairman of the People’s Committee, coincidentally, also named Mr Nguyen, then presented the players with a picture of Uncle Ho.   

Posted in Asian Champs, Unheard of | Leave a Comment »


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