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Milner’s Matrix exposes Billy in controversial study

Posted by Vietnam Swans on July 14, 2012

Billy’s controversial performance results.

Swannie, Nathan Milner, who is a rocket scientist during the day, has put together the Milner Matrix.

The Milner Matrix analyses the player’s performance in a match against the level of partying they have done the previous evening.

Milner has completed an in depth analysis of his first subject, Big, Bad, Bustlin’ Billy. Clearly, there seems to a be a strong correlation between the level of partying and the player’s on field performance.

Further studies by Milner are expected to confirm that there is a causal relationship between the two.

3 Responses to “Milner’s Matrix exposes Billy in controversial study”

  1. Willy said

    Back in 2003 in the 1st days of the Swannies we worked on a correlation of approximately 8:1 basically 8 cans of bia got you 1 kick (see study by Francis, Potsy, Kainey, Fennell, Williams & Bubbles et al, 2003, pp 1 – 8 in “Diet habits of a migratory nocturnal Swan”).
    In 2007 things got a tad more serious and thus the ratios (rations?) went somthin’ like 4:1 (see study by Dale et al, 2006 in “Why I married into Scandianavian bloodlines, cut back on the pis* & still piled up BOG after BOG).
    For some reason things spiked again in 2008 well at least back up in Hanoi where the ratio shot literally back up to about 6:1 (see study by Francis, Potsy, Fennell, Williams, Johns @ Al Frescos et al, 2007, pp 456 – 567 in “How my liver wrote me a let of complaint and somehow I lost it.. the letter that is..”).
    & then in 2011 / 12 things have turned in AFL like figures 0 : 39 especially if ya names is Dukesy!! (see study by Dukes, 2012 in “How Judd and Chicken wings @ the bai hoi are a bad mix” pp 3 weeks).

    Supposedly another highly anticipated study by Crang, 2012 titled “Surf’n, bias, surf’n, swannies & more surf’n.. liv’n the dream” was due to possibly contradict some of these recent findings by Dukes but unfortunately has been removed from all good bookstores.

    Go you Swannies!!

    • said

      Willy when is your PhD due? I was working on a study undertaking the study of a one Mr Shannon Leahy “What 2 years of hard work gets you: Apo VIP card and tardiness at training”, however my observations were regarded as non-ethical to be used.

  2. Phil Johns said

    Hi Willy

    You certainly refer to a number of very interesting studies with some fascinating results.

    One day I would love to read each of them back-to-back and then watch another Swannies replay.

    So much science in the Swannies.


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