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Archive for August, 2007

The AFL Wrap from former Prez, DT the Smooth Taber

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 20, 2007

Here’s the weekly AFL Wrap from none other than the man with the DT’s, Daryl Taber!

We’re almost to the home straight in the sprint to the September Action and the Mighty Cats have a huge lead on the field. It’s hard to see them being beaten. Two questions though. Can they maintain the momentum and will they remain virtually injury free? I bet the Pussies wish the Grand Final was being played this week! 

And Same Same with the Vietnam Swans tipping competition with Kutch the man to catch. Ex skipper Jarrod, Chris and Sri are the main chasers. 

Hawks – Clarko says it’s just a home and away loss and we won’t dwell on it. But I’m sure his boys will hear more from him early in the week as the fact is it was undisciplined acts in the first minutes of the final quarter that got Port back into a game they had no right to win. 

Port next face the Cats at the Cattery. I think the Cats will notch up their 16th straight win! The Hawks round 22 clash with Sydney will shape the lower section of the final eight. 

Are you a believer that one man can virtually get his team over the line? Bomber supporters will say gentleman James did it again when he had 8 vital stats in the crucial 1st 15 mins of the last quarter against the lowly Blues. Or are the Blues Tanking? 

Collingwood’s Nathan Buckley will return this week, and boy, do they need him. The Pies have struggled against the three bottom sides recently. In the twos on Saturday Buckley starred, BOG by far kicking four goals, one from 55m. Will the hammy withstand the pace of the big league?

September Action is almost upon us. Bring it on!

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The AFL Rocket Scientists cont.

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 20, 2007

Well, the 2 “Top 10′s” that we have done in our search for AFL rocket scientists has generated such interest that the Swans Blog - renowned for creating shareholder value by giving punters more of what they need – will squeeze in another 3 into our Top 10′s! Unbelievable but true. Read ahead.

21. “Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.”(Dermott Brereton)

Dermie - a fair candidate to be a rocket scientist

22. “Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.”(Dermott Brereton)

23. Anon. “Bloody Hird. Gets injured tripping over his own feet. That’s why they call him the tampon. One week in, three weeks out.”

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Swans Blog on fire at 7,000 degrees

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 18, 2007

Yesterday the Swans Blog had 114 visitors which took us up to 7,000 hits. Today’s posting is the 200th.

Surely, in some culture it must be lucky to announce 7,000 on your 200th? If there is, the Swans will give them an honourary membership.

In other statistics, it’s just 3 days more than 100 since we launched the Blog on 7 May with the story, “2 months and 10 days before Asian Champs”. Speaking of 10 days, it took just that many after the Champs for the Blog to record our 5,000th hit on 24 July. Coincidentally, 24 was the number of days it took us to collect the 2,000 hits needed to reach 7,000.

Conspiracy theorists momentarily suggested something more sinister than the above being just a random collection of unrelated coincidences. The Swans Blog considered their suggestions to be nothing more than malicious gossip – so we burnt them at the stake.

But back to the Blog’s stats: Vietnam accounts for 43.15% of the traffic (compared with 46.5% at 5,000 hits), Australia 30.85% (30.2%) and the US 6.83% (6.5%). The total number of countries that have logged on to the site has increased from 48 to 58 countries.

In other Swans Blog related news, Marty Hartigan, who lives in Melbourne, will be in Hanoi on the day of the AFL Grand Final. He got onto the net, found the Blog and emailed us requesting a couple of seats at the Vietnam Swans 2007 AFL Grand Final Party. For sure, Marty!!

Marty also mentioned that The Age ran an article a couple of weeks ago that included a reference to the Vietnam Swans.

It’s official: you don’t have to wait ’til the end of the day to discover that it’s all good. Hearin’ me?

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The search for an AFL rocket scientist continues…

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 17, 2007

The Swans Blog was not Jokin’ Alan Joyce when we said we had a second instalment of “Top 10 Clues re the existence of AFL rocket scientists”. To find out which AFL scientist may already have had a nuclear fuel rod inserted through their ears, read below. The list is displayed alphabetically in chronological order for your convenience.

11.        “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” (Luke Darcy)

12.        “He scored that goal after only 22 seconds – totally against the run of play.” (Dermott Brereton)

13.        “We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then they scored.” (Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles)

14.        “That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.” (Dermott Brereton)

15.        “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” (Shane Wakelin)

16.        “Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football – but none of them serious.” (Adrian Anderson)

17.        “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”(Andrew Demetriou)

18.        “I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL but there are none better.” (Dermott Brereton)

Wallace - has no need to comment on the “prat”19.        “I never comment on umpires and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.” (Terry Wallace)

20.        Garry Lyon: “Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?” David Scwartz: “On what?”

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War Without Weapons

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 16, 2007

continues to deliver the goods and makes good regular reading. Yesterday they posted a story with a link to the VFL video,  which can now be seen on the .

The camera goes and visits North Melbourne and Ronald Dale Barassi in the lead up to the 1979 season. You get footage of Barassi addressing the players (and this year’s theme is ”get a little bit of dirt on your hands”) and taking training sessions – using some drills that our Super Savvy Coach is banned from seeing.

There’s also some footage of the season’s opener against Carlton.

It’s a great insight. Check out on the ABC’s website – and don’t forget to visit on a regular basis.

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Go Cats! Or are they going, going…

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 16, 2007

In an article titled, “” that appeared in yesterday’s Age newspaper, Greg Baum looked at Geelong’s prospects at the business end of the season. 

“Geelong sits four games clear on top of the ladder and is already the minor premier. It has won 14 games in a row, the second-longest winning streak in the club’s history and one of the 12 longest by any club. The previous three clubs to compile similar sequences — Carlton 1995, Essendon 2000 and the Brisbane Lions 2002 — all won premierships, emphatically.”

The story looks good. But Baum then points out Geelong’s well known flip side:

“Geelong has not won the flag since 1963. Among clubs of the former VFL, only Footscray is more starved. In the interim, the Cats have lost five grand finals, also losing six preliminary finals.”

In conclusion, Baum thinks “a defeat now for the Cats would be a hitch, not a crisis. But Geelong knows that its biggest threat at the moment is Geelong. So do punters.”

The Swans Blog decided to get to the bottom of this story and contacted Bomber Thompson for his own thoughts. According to Bomber, Cats’ supporters should not worry. He spoke reassuringly and enthusiastically about the Cats, and described their recent form as “priceless”.

Bomber says the Cats recent form has been “priceless”

Meanwhile, for those Vietnam Swans in Hanoi, training will be on tonight as usual at Dead Cat Stadium, commencing at 7.15pm. Only 2 1/2 weeks before the Hong Kong Dragons get here.

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Prime Minister calls Swans Blog

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 15, 2007

The tech savvy Australian Prime Minister, Mr Howard, who also likes You Tube to speak to his fans, contacted the Swans Blog today.

Mr Howard just needed a shoulder to cry on following revelations that his Deputy, Mr Peter Costello, had vowed to destroy his leadership (see ).

“I’m gutted that our relationship could do a ‘u-turn’ like this”, explained a frank and distressed Prime Minister. “It hurts a lot – especially after all I’ve done for Peter.”

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Is there a rocket scientist playing AFL?

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 15, 2007

Is there anyone out there in the la la land of AFL who should be called a genius? Mick Malthouse doesn’t think so. Daryl Taber has just forwarded to the Swans Blog a bit of evidence that supports Mick’s claim about there being a dearth of rocket scientists. Below are the Top 10 Examples (and soon we will also post another Top 10 – Wait a minute, is that two Top 10′s or 1 Top 20?)

 1.         “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” (Mick Malthouse)

2.         “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Peter Bell, Fremantle – on his University Law studies

3.         “You guys line up alphabetically by height.” and “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” Barry Hall Sydney Captain at Training

4.         Brock Maclean (Melbourne) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

5.         “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” Kevin Sheedy on James Hird

6.         Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games “It’s basically the same, just darker.” (Ed’s note: Hearin’ ya, Jonathon)

7.         Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Barass, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ “

8.         Barry Hall (Sydney) when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.” 

9.         “Luke Hodge – the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago.” (Dermott Brereton)

10.        “Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.” (Mark Williams)

And don’t forget, the other Top 10 is coming very soon. Stay tuned for that one!

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Match Report: Vietnam Vs Thailand Tigers

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 14, 2007

One month to the day since the Asian Champs, we can now bring you the Match Report on the 4th and final match of our campaign; Vietnam Vs the Thailand Tigers. Special thanks to our Assistant Coach, Micky Johnston for the insights.


A final chance to gain some glory against our old foes, the Thaigers…


Everyone was knackered, but no one wanted to go home yet.


Hard work from Scott Beasley and Andy Wall (kept his head down and got a whack across the noggin for his troubles – our first blood rule candidate) in the back line saw the ball pushed forward for Kempie to dob one with a quick left foot snap. A second one to Will floating down from the half-back line and letting loose from the 50-metre mark saw us go in ahead at half time by a goal.


The effort in the sun all day meant there were 32 tired bodies on the ground for their 8th half of footy for the day, but of course they wanted more.  So much so, that Griggie and his mate with the cap decided to see if the game could be settled in the Sin Bin!


Johnny Fosters in the ruck continued to give bottom feeders like Greg Eggins first opportunity at centre bounces, but it was the Tigers who got the first goal for the half. Mixo Kris did some nice work across the full back line to work the ball around the flank, and Will crashed hard into the back of his opponent to make sure he earned the ball, but the Thaigers continued to push forward and scored a late goal to win a tough encounter.


Final Score: Vietnam 2.3 (15) – Thailand 4.3 (27)  


PS Bottom right photo – How’s Scotty Stacey’s impersonation of a Nazi playing footy?

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Match Report: Vietnam Vs China Reds

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 13, 2007

Special thanks to Assistant Coach, Micky Johnston for the following match report from the Asian Champs.


Game 1:  Vietnam Swans Vs China Reds – Everyone arrived at the bus pick-up:  Good start.


Scotty said, “For the next 8 hours, what I say goes”. No one quibbled – looking good.

Ground arrival.  Lots of other buses, so obviously at right place.

The Batik Jakarta BintangsOther teams in corporate uniform (especially liked the batik outfit from Indonesia), but we’d sold lots of t-shirts and caps on the bus to up our image.

10 minutes of “G’day, my names McGooly, what’s yours?”, followed by Scotty reading out his first team as the coach of the bestest mob in the world.  Then, it was GAME ON!

At first bounce, we knew we’d discovered a centre combo that could work together – bliss! Drew Franklin, Sam Grigg, Mick Hassett and Peter Bossink combined together (as they did tirelessly all day) to get the ball into our forward line for the first point of the entire Asian Cup 2007 to David Kemp.

Unfortunately, our scoring opportunities were very limited over the next 19.5 minutes, but there were some highlights, not least of which was Travis’ tussle against big Greg Stafford.  Twice, T was able to outmuscle the big S and deliver the ball in the Brothers Sharpleseseses’ direction. The first time, Sharples Marty was closest and almost bagged one, but alas, another point.

From then on, we struggled to keep up with the team chosen from the first country in the world to reach a population of 1 billion.

Captain Gus & Mixo Kris combined with Will across the half back line to keep the Red’s forwards honest, and the bastard son of A. Downer, M. Growder, got his hands on the ball a couple of times across the half forward line, but kicking goals was proving a challenge.

The rain came tumbling downWhen the skies opened up 5 minutes into the first half, Scotty managed to keep his coaching notes from smudging, but was unable to gain heavenly intervention on the ground.

Final score did not reflect the close nature of the game, but they knew how to kick sausage rolls and we could only muster behinds.

Final Score: China Reds 4.2 (26) –  Vietnam 0.3 (3)

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Former President escapes fine

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 12, 2007

Former Swans President, Dave “Flyer” Kainey, often points out what’s good and what’s not in Asian football.

It’s since been pointed out that the Flyer was the Bintang’s runner during the recent Champs - for which he miraculously escaped the wrath of the Fines Master, Pago. This has raised eyebrows and questions in some circles with whispers of favouritism. 

Kevan Dacey, by contrast was belted by the Fines Master for wearing a Brisbane Lions t shirt on match day and then a China Reds shirt during the fines session (what was Kev thinking there??).

While people are able to understand the Kevan Dacey situation, the same cannot be said for Dave Kainey.

Perhaps it’s time for the Fine Master to explain. When two people commit the same offence but only one is fined a double shot of Thai whiskey, you have a double standard. Plain n simple.

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The rumble of the Elephants is getting louder…

Posted by Vietnam Swans on August 12, 2007

If you thought those Elephants would have quietly returned to Laos, never to be seen again, think again. The rumble from the jungles of Laos is turning into thunder.

The boys have just received a burst of publicity from . Marty Sharples says that the Elephants are attracting 10-15 regular trainers and they train twice a week on Wednesdays and Sundays. Numbers have become so prolific that they have had to take the “unprecedented step of using two footies at training”.

The guys training come from Laos, Australia, UK, Japan and Norway (I wonder if the Rooster has played for Norway). 

After training sessions, Marty says they drink Beer Lao (maybe not unprecedented) and “talk of greatness and awesomeness”. In the next breath he mentions , “We hope to take on a Vietnamese side either in Hanoi or Saigon at year’s end or early next year”.

We look forward to warmly meeting the Elephants anywhere, anytime. 

For the full article, click onto .

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